Killing a thousand roaches would be pretty difficult… I’m just sayin’…
Yeah but so is hiding the dead body of a person
Are we making people jerky I love people jerky. --The jungle ape on Johnny bravo
and they multiply
but maybe that can be a good thing… just start feeding them until you gain their loyalty and have them protect your house from anyone trying to live in your attic
I think there’s some sci-fi there somewhere
Big Bomb
Leave for the day.
I don’t want to deal with any person that can handle the intense summer heat in my attic without dying.
Yes, its 110+ F here during the day… the attic… well a few years ago we had a guy out to service…
He FELL down the attic ladder due to heat stroke. Its one of those almost straight ladders that fold into the ceiling.
He was thankfully ok, and after some AC and water, was right as rain… I should say, he was a young guy in good health, and not only that a friend of a family member. We wanted to take care of him, first and foremost. If we thought medical attention was needed (and my own ass has had heat stroke, I know it) we would have called emergency services. We didn’t want to stick him with an ambulance bill (no insurance, private contractor) if he didn’t need it.
But fuck, 1k roaches? You know what, I’ll board the animals, use it as an excuse to get a nice hotel room with the wife, see if we can both take PTO for the week off and take an unprompted vacay, while the exterminator does their business.
That being said, 10 years ago, when I was much much poorer, with much more tenuous job stability… I’d take a knife up for the human in the attic, take the body to a family friend with a pig farm. Pigs make the best witnesses. They eat all the evidence, and can’t speak.
I feel like thats not even that many roaches for a real infestation
Also doesnt mention what kind
And there are proffesionals you can call probably once to deal with that problem.
If you find a human living in your attic unbeknownst to you well
Thats a lifetime of therapy or more to deal with after dealing with the immediate problem
Roaches every time
A LIFETIME of therapy?
to be fairy there are also professionals who will be all too willing to take any unregistered humans off your hands…
fr, that person might rape and/or murder me but the roaches won’t lol
Depends on the person TBH
Well let’s get specific; what sort of person would you pick over 1000 roaches, and vice versa?
If the guy was a chill roommate, probably preferable to cockroaches. Creepy or violent would probably push things towards the mostly harmless insects.
Just someone cool, who also pitches in for rent.
Maybe they sweep the attic now and then.
You can call the police for a person.
You can’t fir 1000 roches.
Hell i’d take a person over 10 roaches
You need 1 bullet to deal with a person, and 1000 to deal with 1000 cockroaches.
Math is pretty easy.
I think using 1000 bullets in your home to kill roaches would be…ya know what, nah, go for it
there’s an extremely early episode of Family Guy where they use guns to shoot at fleas. Because obviously that would be ridiculous.
And then a shitload of contractors to repair the 1000 bullet holes in your house due to the massive overkill of shooting roaches.
Nice accuracy tho.
You can just call an exterminator for the roaches though. I would definitely rather invite an exterminator into my house that the cops.
I’d rather the person. A roommate that’s so good, I didn’t even notice them there until I physically checked the attic? Perfect.
You can legally kill roaches.
You can legally kill people too. Cops do it all the time.
See, the issue with your statement is the “you” part. As a dark skinned person with leftist political stances, I don’t believe I can get away with what cops do.
Cops are just one of many examples. Here are some other ways of legally killing people:
- joining the army
- becoming a doctor and systemically neglect women and poc
- fatally injuring someone in self defense
- getting someone pregant in places with abortion bans
Notice that I said killing, not ‘murdering’. So long as it’s either not deliberate or acceptable by law, you can legally get people killed.
How would they even prove intent in any of those cases? Has that ever actually happened?
You can’t always prove intent. That’s why some of these problems are systemic. Which one are you doubting? There are too many examples of each for me to list all of them.
All of them, honestly. I’m not asking to argue any point or any other; I’m genuinely curious, you seem to know more about it than I do and I am too lazy to Startpage it.
Here is a short list that I came up with after a quick search. Justifiable homicide is a similar concept to this, albeit more specific than just ‘killing’.
Absolutely a person. Worst case scenario a human is far easier to remove than a thousand roaches and that’s assuming they can’t be reasoned with or even befriended
There’s a chance they’re the love of your life
From a practical standpoint, the person is theoretically easier to get rid of than the roaches because there’s almost certainly only one of them and even if there’s two, of opposite sex, it takes considerably more time and effort for them to produce any more of them and even then more than a decade before those offspring can themselves breed. That said a person is as big as at least 1000 cockroaches and has more natural defences.
It’s a bit of a conundrum because there’s probably more readily available resources for getting rid of roaches than a person, but they’re probably less effective than most anti person resources that you can get if you can get them. You could try the anti roach tactics on the person but you’d have to get like a lot of roach spray and a lot of protective equipment because the cornered person is pretty dangerous. You couldn’t even really call in a professional either because I reckon they’d likely run away when they discovered they weren’t dealing with roaches.
Depending on your area the local police would probably be the best stand in for pest control at this scale and probably pretty effective too so ultimately the person is probably the better option of the 2 but that said it’d be an awful lot more disturbing than the 1000 roaches. There is at least the option of becoming friends with the person though which is not really an option with the roaches.
I’m sure tenting the whole house for a few days will get rid of both easily
Yeah but I feel like modern insecticides/ pest control methods are pretty good. Probably could have the roaches nipped in the bud with 1-2 visits from a decent exterminator. Involving the police etc sounds like a much bigger ordeal
If you choose the one you eventually get the thousand for free.
so i’ve heard.
DDT would work im both cases
A person, she/he will be staying there nice and tight 🪢
I hate bugs, like HATE. But I watched that video of the girl living in the storage space in the ceiling. And she’d come down at night to eat food and piss in the sink… I’ll take the bugs
Thanks for making me discover that. Could’ve lived my whole life without knowing about it.
I guess the toilet would make to much noise.
It never said where she’d #2 tho… That’s what scares me most. If she’s peeing in the sink…
“This is truly, on god, the first “would you rather” that I’ve ever had to devote significant thought to.”
They just don’t like punctuation.
Edit, sorry @ prenupbutter@lemm.ee I meant to reply to you.
1000 roaches or a human in my attic is not what fucked me up, it was that damn second comment and I scrolled furiously thinking surely it’s not just me. Thanks for the explanation.
I could take sterilized roaches. Their power in that their population grows like hell. But 1000 you can kill off and that’s settled? Okay, deal. Guess, the first hunt would take a half of them for good.
A person? You obviously can’t kill them in most jurisdictions unless you are a LEO. But I’d look forward to reach out and cooperate with them in some way. Idk them and maybe they have cool things to talk about or learn from them. Imagine them blasting an ukulele and being open to teach you. Or just being a good friend material.
I’d probably take both and do bonding with a cellar person over killing bugs.
Oh shit, I’m a VIRGO.
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