• 126 Posts
  • 10.4K Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: May 7th, 2024
  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•For when you need to make a shitpost
    17·
    14 hours ago

    If I were a billionaire, I’d make this a real product. I’d make real commercials for it. Weird commercials. The tagline would be “Go poop yourself!”

    I wouldn’t worry about sales. But I’d act like I cared deeply. My commercials would become increasingly more and more deranged.

    Like imagine if I hired Alex Jones to eat 6 buckets of chicken, shirtless, in a room that’s 120 degrees. Then hired a bunch of body builders to come hold him down and slap his face, and tickle his feet for 16 hours until he’s exausted, and pissed off. Then I’d tell him we’re doing another 16 hours unless he screams into the camera, and records a commercial to plead with america to buy the poop pills.

    And you don’t see any of the prep work. You just see a shirtless, sweaty, red faced desprate Alex Jones yelling “YOU GOTTA POOP YOURSELF!!! PLEASE!!! I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!!! CONSUME THESE PILLS!!! GO POOP YOURSELF!!!”

    And the next week it would be Kenny from south park. Saying 2 minutes of something you can’t understand. Followed by him pooping and exploding.

    And you go to the store, and this exact box, is a real product being sold for $24.99.

    And every week is another celebrity going nuts, and screaming that everybody needs to poop more.

    I’d take a massive loss. It would only be done to entertain myself, and gaslight everyone.

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.worldtoToday I Learned@lemmy.world•TIL that full automation of subway systems is illegal in the United StatesEnglish
    3·
    17 hours ago

    Guy having a heart attack. Operator overides the controls, contacts 911, sets an ambulance to show up at the stop that will be fastest for EMS. In my city, sometimes the elevators are down at certain stations. So maybe the operator drives past the next 2 stations without stopping all while being in contact with 911 operators, and at the same time using the intercom to alert other passengers on other cars (since trains are multiple cars long) what is going on so they don’t get mad that the train didn’t even stop at their stop.

    An automated system would have just went to the next stop as normal. Stopped, opened the doors for 30 seconds, and then resumed as normal.

    Fire - If a small fire broke out, the train operator could stop the train, wherever it is, open the doors, use the intercom to evacuate the train. Then use communications to stop all other nearby trains so they don’t hit any passengers now jumping off a train onto other train tracks. Then, when everyone is safe, use the fire extinguisher.

    If automated systems can even detect a fire, the most it could physically do is stop the train, and open the doors. Computer code can’t physically use a fire extinguisher, and I wouldn’t trust AI in an emergsncy situation to get people to safety.

Moderates