How do y’all prefer to shave your shitlocks?

Me every other week throwing out the food I thought better me would make. No. You ate the easy food like always, numbskull.

In an interview for a line cook job I mentioned this in jest.

The chef laughed and said nah fuck that we’re like a pirate ship. We’re here for each other, understand if something better comes along, but you fuck up we’ll make you walk the plank.

My favorite version of that jargon nonsense I’ve heard.

We’re a family is toxicity central. Just like family. ❤️

Use the clit like a speed bag

Is the foreign policy just stock market manipulation?

Why should the grift ever stop? Full speed ahead off the cliff

My hair is long enough. I don’t want a non imaginative boi

If they’re feminine enough, and you take your glasses off, you can pretend it’s a big angry clit.

That is psychotic

It’s so perfect. Like a nerdier version of the guy who ties women to train tracks.

My work orb has fallen and shattered. Life orb was dependent on the work orb. I’m holding a mental health orb but that is actively shattering in my hands because bills.

Wat do.

They didn’t tell me how to ponder the orbs correctly.

“Abortion is green.”

Can I holy the security guards gun?

He went to New Zealand for 2 minutes and 35 seconds just to cum!

It was my favorite scroll back on reddit. Car crash, fight or crackhead it had such a nice variety.

I CAN TASTE IT

TAKE ME BACK

How many times have you been peed on in real life?

That’s advanced.

Now you go.

Weird shit you did as a kid go:

I got y’all beat. (No pun intended)

Too scared to look up porn. Thinking I’d be caught. Ended up knocking over peasants in one of the early assassins creed games and rubbing my pants furiously when their underwear would show.

HES A KID TOUCHER I CAN TRUST

HE TELLS IT LIKE IT IS