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Joined 26 days ago
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Cake day: September 13th, 2026

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  • Oh man, my hair is a deep brown, almost black. It is so obvious if I miss a spot. And it is thick, like cutting a forest down.

    I need a mirror and still have to do rub tests. Goddamn trees on my face.

    I even went into a laser hair removal place and asked for a quote, and the lady was stunned. She didn’t know how to say it. Yeah, I can’t get away with not shaving and growing a beard sucks.

    So I use beard conditioner and hair conditioner to soften it, then use shaving cream and grind on it until I can no longer hear the abrasions of the hair cutting down in my cranium.

    And finally, I am ready for the meeting with the client. So I envy you.

    Hell, man, I have to shave four hours ahead of time, because my skin is red from the operation. And I have an expensive razor set.

    You are lucky.



  • Been in IT for 25 years. This is the greatest perk.

    I worked for a hospitality company, fortune 500, who had acquired us and had never had an IT department before.

    I still have boxes of Cat5e from the wifi installations, who said to pitch the cable into the trash.

    I also harvested a switch with just one bad port (48 port cisco catalyst) and when they decided to upgrade the call center with new PCs and were throwing away the old pizza boxes, we were all stuff our cars. I built a cluster, just because, but then started reinstalling Winders XP on them and giving them to friends, family, or selling them dirt cheap to acquaintances.








  • Shit, this girl worked at a police station and got upset, nearly canceled our meetup because I had no criminal record.

    When we met up, she refused to go get food or drinks. Instead, she took me to a secluded park and let me know she was carrying two guns.

    I said a shootout was a weird first date activity and I would have rather gone bowling. She took me back to the hotel, but offered to get me Taco Bell on the way back.

    She then wouldn’t respond the next day, which the entire point of the trip was to go to a museum I wanted to see.

    It was my birthday trip and she just happened to be along the route. I went to the museum alone and had a blast.






  • Ketchup, or catsup, which is the same word latinized differently, was a fish sauce from China.

    The western Europeans and American colonists used the recipe, and expanded it to things like mushrooms and many other ingredients. (for proof, look at the ketchup entry on wikipedia).

    Tomato ketchup (which is specified on your bottle still today) wasn’t invented until we realized that tomatoes weren’t poisonous despite their color, and their sweetness and tang totally rocked with the ketchup recipe.

    Now we use it to eat frenched fries, which aren’t French! In fact, they are Belgian, and are named because they used a cooking technique invented by the French called “frenching” which has evolved into deep frying.

    So, you are dipping your belgian potatoes into a chinese sauce that use a North American fruit as a base.

    And with this information, you shall father nations!