What kinds of behaviors do you want to reinforce? What do you want less of? Is it possible to get more of the good stuff and less of the bad stuff in your current context?
If yes, try it.
If no, I think this is a matter of acceptance. It’s really unfortunate.
To make long-term storage possible.
To do work now to save time later.
Finally someone gets how to flatter me
PISA results agree with you
And also the entire lubrication mechanism changed from a faulty one to a more lubricated one?
I always thought I had a crooked tooth. It felt that way whenever I touched it with my tongue. It has bothered me every day for years.
However, it was only yesterday that I asked my dentist about it. She looked at my tooth and said it was perfect. At first, I couldn’t believe it.
Apparently, teeth are usually not symmetrical; usually the side facing the center of your mouth is more square-y. The side facing away is usually more bulbous.
I’m shocked. And a bit frustrated, because it seems as if the way forward is accepting that I’ve got a tooth with a protruding corner that my tongue will forever feel.
That or I can pay a bazillion dollars for a completely unnecessary dental procedure.
I think I prefer accepting my corner.
For one, it would help to stop saying that phrase.
Better to call the opposite:
Three things that might help:
Shared vulnerability. I’d say this is what you mean with “deep”. Others said it well, if you force it then it’s awkward.
Which brings me to the second thing: progressive self-disclosure. In other words, with each person you meet there’s a set of steps in a staircase. You meet everyone in level one. If you open up a bit and they walk up with you, you can continue going up a bit more and see if they go up with you a bit more. You need to notice where others are: are they visibly comfortable? Are they being enthusiastic about the topic?
The final thing is shared competence. Sometimes, talking “deep” is finding someone who knows the same stuff that you know about and you go on a wild ride, exploring your mental palaces and building new ones throughout the conversation. This also requires going up step by step.
If you’re kind and lucky, you will find people with whom you can have shared vulnerability and people with whom you can have shared competence.
Check out these resources that might help:
Look for Cynefin by Dave Snowden. It’s a framework that not only helps with understanding programming, but many other types of systems.
Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.
Didn’t like the prize? Pivot 180 degrees without acknowledging why you played stupid games.
Thanks for your response. I’m glad your dog was in your hands.
And yes, your answers help me have a clearer idea of what the experience can be like and what can be done. Thanks.
Thanks for your response. I’m glad the dog lived a life with you, someone who cared about them. I’m sorry the seizures got to her.
Just to clarify, my questions weren’t for a dog of mine. They are for a neighbor that seems to not care well for their dog, and their dog has seizures. A group of neighbors filed complaints already, and we’re waiting on the resolution. In the meantime, I wanted to understand what the dog could’ve been experiencing and what could be done while a dog is having a seizure. If the dog is in pain, the type of complaint is more serious than if not, so if the current complaints don’t change anything, maybe something can be done in the future to change the complaint.
Thanks for reaching out. Sorry for taking so long. Here are my questions regarding dogs with seizures: what do you do while a dog is having a seizure? Do you know what they may be experiencing?
I ask because I have a neighbor with a dog that is practically left alone most of the day and most of the night and sometimes has seizures that we can hear and that my neighbor confirmed via text messages. A long time ago we reported my neighbor to the local animal control body, but they claimed that they couldn’t do anything unless we could prove the animal was suffering. After collecting neighbor testimonies and recording ourselves in our homes listening to the dog (we had to prove that we were recording ourselves and not the neighbor), we filed a formal complaint. Now we’re waiting for animal control to take action
I guess my questions at this point are out of curiosity and compassion for the dog. In case the complaint doesn’t come to anything, maybe my questions can also be fodder for future, more effective complaints.
Midgley’s Ethical Primate changed my life.
So did Hayes’ A Liberated Mind.
So did Welzel’s Freedom Rising.
Currently reading Archer’s Explicit Instruction and Groshell’s Just Tell Them.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such frustrating experiences with coffee. I wonder if my experience could help you in navigating your experience.
When I order coffee I always see how they do it.
I don’t do it to complain. In fact, even if they get my order wrong I rarely ask for a change, because whatever they give me is usually alright.
I see how they do it because I’m curious. I like to know what their process is like. I like to know what machines they use. I like to know how they organize work in the coffee shop. I like to see their technique.
Because of this curiosity, I usually understand quite well why my coffee ends up the way it does.
Yes, I am a customer. Yes, I could insist that my drink has to be different. But I prefer to accept that life is unpredictable and that we are all human. And it’s usually alright.
Here’s a video that could help: https://youtu.be/OXbQx2hfA5k
“Deletes surveillance-capitalist social media to improve life. Immediately builds self-hosted social media and productivity systems to further improve life”
I agree that time is part of the equation, but the equation is actually larger:
This is me working late. Checklists become my only hope. That and breaking down the tasks into absurdly smaller tasks.