I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

  • @underline960@sh.itjust.works
    159•27 days ago

    Without knowing more about you, it’s hard to say anything for sure. I can make a bunch of guesses.

    One possibility: you didn’t cultivate your relationships as well as you thought. A lot of guys sink all of their “intimate relationship energy” into their partner, instead of spreading some out to friends and family members.

    Maybe your ex ran a successful long-term hit campaign on you. That would fit with the cheating and the emotional abuse.

    Maybe it’s due to the period of life that your friends are in. If everyone’s in their early 30s, they’re probably dealing with climate change, economic stress, children, etc. Doesn’t leave a lot of emotional bandwidth for someone you don’t already have deep ties with.

    Maybe it’s a broader cultural thing. Guys tend to get the short end of the stick in general with breakups. We still don’t teach boys and men to explicitly emotionally support each other. We still don’t, as a society, emotionally support boys and men in general. Single dads get custody far less often, etc etc.

    I’m not blaming you or exonerating you. Your situation sucks and knowing all the possible whys and wherefores probably won’t help you as much as figuring out what to do next.