Don’t focus on the power. Focus on your passage through life.
Balance independence with consideration and empathy.
That is to say, be conscious of other people’s preferences and desires but don’t let yourself be dominated by others. Maintain a strong sense of yourself while still accommodating other people.
Keep that balance, so that you come across as strong and independent and in charge of your own life and kind and considerate and concerned for others, and “soft power” is just there to be had. People will just naturally seek your counsel and generally follow your lead.
That’s also how you develop and exercise it as a nation-state. And that’s why Trump has so completely destroyed US soft power - because he possesses and exercises none of those qualities. He, and the nation under his leadership is boorish and aggressive and inconsiderate, and also callow and thin-skinned and petty.
I see China getting mentioned in relation to soft power quite often in news and such. What do China’s previous soft power cases say of the experience or outcomes now that you or anyone else is aware of?
Like obviously there’s no free lunch but im curious about where beneficiaries stand on that today
Networking.
Become a leader in your community. Volunteer at community organizations that help you network with other community leaders.
“Soft power” is basically your ability to get others to do what you want because there are benefits to your friendship and they don’t want to lose those benefits.
So the way to get soft power is to make sure there are benefits to your friendship others don’t want to lose, and then create a credible threat of losing them. Some obvious sources of personal soft power are being hot or rich, or throwing really good parties.
For example, suppose you want to get good at throwing parties. So you go out, meet some people, send out some invites, and people show up. Your place looks super cool, you put on some good music, and you spend the night making sure everyone feels welcome and introducing people and fostering conversations between them. Everyone leaves having a fantastic time. The next week, you meet some more people and invite them to your party again, and the people you invited last week invite some of their friends. Repeat for several weeks, and your parties have gone from a dozen people hanging out to 100 people packed into your house having a blast! And inevitably, someone will show up who will bring a bad vibe, and that person won’t be invited back. And eventually the party simply has too many people, so you have to choose who to invite and not invite back, while still allowing new people to show up. You now have soft power. Individuals will want you to like them because they want to get invited to your excellent, exclusive parties, and want to keep getting invited back.
