One day I’ll save enough to afford those obnoxious pants with all the chains and stuff

I’ve had more dick in my mouth than your mother, don’t call me a bigot for using adjectives.

If I were asked to qualify one, sure. It’s a love story about a gay couple. It’s a gay love story. If they were Indonesian it would be an Indonesian love story.

I loved the episode but it is very much a gay story

It’s a robot reading a book of arcane knowledge you degenerate

I have no idea what this means

Which instance? I can see the b word in the original comment but yours literally says “removed” like, “taken away”.

Where can I get ranch flavored cig filters?

It’s media-friendly astrology

White Wine in the Sun is a beautifully, refreshingly different Christmas song.

Not Perfect is another awesome non-funny song.

Rock & Roll Nerd is borderline humor but another absolutely amazing song thar doesn’t stress the comedy.

There is nothing between a melt and a grilled cheese. It’s one or the other. Or neither. I’m bringing this argument back.

You take that back

I don’t hate the planet. I hate my future grandchildren. I have to make sure they suffer.

I have no snout yet I must oink.

Why is that even a thing? It’s a dryer. I want it dry. It’s not called a damper.

The improv show was at a theater with an attached restaurant and I showed up early and caught them eating dinner. I didn’t want to bother them but my friend encouraged me and they were super cool. Bobby Moynihan was there too, a couple years before he started on SNL. Super nice guys, all of them.

It was in NYC on a not very busy road late at night and Donglover was outside with some of the other cast just to chat with fans. This was in 2009 I think so before he blew up in popularity. He talked to me and my friends for a little while and remembered me from when I went to a Derrick improv show a few years prior.

I was not in the least bit intoxicated but I guess the lack of sleep combined with talking to some of my favorite comedians gave me some kind of high. There was a group of college age guys, probably 10-15 of them, on the other side of the road drinking beer and being obnoxious. One of them threw a bottle into the street and it shattered.

In my infinite wisdom, I yelled at them, called them littering motherfuckers or words to that effect. They immediately started crossing the street to fuck my shit up. Donald steps in front of me and yells “he’s drunk he didn’t mean it!”. They decided to turn around and continue on their way instead of kicking my ass. Donald turns around, grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me, saying “you can’t say that shit here!”

I owe that man my life.

Fun anecdote I tell at every opportunity: Donald Glover saved me from getting my ass kicked by a bunch of drunk New Yorkers outside the theater at a premiere of Mystery Team.

There are Americans who own chickens and Americans who’ve never touched one. It’s a big country. This post applies mostly to city folk.

Fun fact you can talk to just about anything