Earlier this morning I thought it was an article from The Onion. It is in fact, not.

I play it on vr. I just like exploring.

In the part of rural Pennsylvania where people have guns. Yeah, Ok.

Samsung put 12 gigs of ram in my phone. I don’t even use that much.

I got Necesse too! It was about 6 bucks. Can’t beat that price. Runs on a potato also.

I was looking for a reason to cancel, I guess I found it.

Inscriptions on a fired casing read: “notices bulges” capital “O-W-O what’s this?”

Imagine having to say that at a press conference.

The quality of their burgers went down a decade ago. I don’t miss it.