Now that we have determined in this thread that a friendly/flirty conversation is indeed not harassment, women are just people too, the old gender roles are dead and public parks are a singles hunting ground, how do I make it clear I’m open to being approached?
Since chatting someone up is out of the question for me, I’d rather hedge my bets on some women using those tricks all you Casanovas left in that thread on me. We’re all progressive here, I don’t see why the man must start this dance.
But I can’t help but notice that this plan has not worked at all yet. How do I express I’m single and ready to mingle, except by just having that printed on my shirt? Like was said, having just a friendly conversation with any gender would be a start, can’t remember those happening in a while either.
You have to talk to them.
Try to just be friends. Try to be funny. Try to be a little irreverent. Unpredictable. Amusing.
Nice day huh?
Did you see that cool show / game last night / dog that ran by just now with a six pack of beer?!
Excuse me you look really familiar. Have we met before?
Hi I’m Fred what’s your name? (Only do this if your name is Fred otherwise it gets awkward)
If they blow you off whatever. That one was just practice.
You got this bud!
Way to miss the question, I know that works for some but for me it’s not going to happen. Unless you can tell me why I can’t take the role that never needs to initiate I’m not interested into being psyched up.
Because gender roles are actually still a thing and (most) women won’t approach strange men in parks.
At a party? Different story. Ideally smaller ones with mutual friends
If you don’t initiate, you rely on others to give you what you want. If you approach yourself, you’re making what you want happen.
There is no “role that never needs to initiate”. Women have always been initiating, just less than men and maybe in a more indirect way. If women want something, they also make sure to try and get it.
In the end, the only thing you’re doing is not taking responsibility about your own happiness.
Well, tell me those indirect ways!
In the context of cold random approaches, women almost never do that. They don’t need to, because so many men are approaching them that they simply don’t have to do the work. Why would you risk rejection when you can just chill and be approached and thus get guaranteed interest? They just mostly pick out of the approaches they get. Gender roles might be theoretically dead, but practically, they’re very much alive.
One of the indirect ways is simply looking at you and looking friendly. That is them indirectly approaching you by showing you that you can approach them. How to make sure that is their intention is almost impossible because different people have different mannerisms and you don’t know what the person you’re looking at’s mannerisms are. They might just generally look at people and look friendly. For someone else, they might look but look bored and that’s their face for them wanting you to approach them. Or someone looking at you but quickly looking away when you look may be wanting you to approach (they were just embarrassed for staring), but they might also just think you look weird and that’s why they stared.
Approaching someone is not wrong, but it’s almost impossible to know if someone wants to be approached unless you approach them. It’s a paradox without a proper solution.
Because then it’s simply out of your control if it ever happens. It’s still out of your control if it ever works but having a say in when it happens gives you a massive advantage. Being able to approach someone also makes those instances where you’re being approached far more comfortable. Not trying to make it sound like the other route can’t work out at all but showing initiative is imo the easier route long term. And I say this as someone with social anxiety.
Relationships take effort, like all the time. If you are not willing to put effort into meeting someone, then you are not ready to be in a relationship.
You seriously need to analyze what kind of person you want to attract/ communicate with/ hook up with/ chill with…
Maybe try dating apps so you can filter what you want specifically out of a relationship.
But on the real, you need to open up and broaden your horizons. You can find relationships anywhere on this planet if you’re willing to talk to people, show kindness and compassion.