+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.
It’s a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.
Can’t let that happen again.
…again?
The events inspired the band Powerwolf.
“The Pope was bitten by a wolf while going out for a shit. Somebody call Maxwell!”
Check the bathroom window for finger prints.
Bang bang Vatican’s gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican’s gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-oPope Joan was quizzical…
The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon
my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that
What does it actually mean?
Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.
In this case it seems to fit pretty well.
Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.
Hit him once. If he shouts, you’ve got two more swings to make him stop.
So it’s correctly labeled as a factoid then
The -oid suffix is used to describe something that appears like something else, but is not that thing. An asteroid is something that looks like a star, but isn’t. A factoid is something that looks like a fact, but isn’t.
I used to introduce my common-law partner as my “wifeoid.” She hated that but sometimes it is okay to put your own pleasure first.
it’s uncomfortably close to “femoid”
It was a different time.
A droid looks like a Dr. but isn’t? Am I getting this right?
Comes from Android. Like a human but isn’t.
D’oh, it should say “another target Cleric” to avoid confusion.
“One” hit “Two” hit Pope: “Ouch!” … … “What do we do now?” “Just hit harder, it’s a self-solving problem”
“Three” smash Pope: “OUCH!!!”
…
…
“Now what?”
What about the holy hand grenade?
First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.
Gotta love The Book of Armaments.
It even used to be in Warhammer 40k as wargear for the Space Marine chapter Black Templars. Special hand grenades called Holy Orbs of Antioch
HAAAALELUJAH
Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?
They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.
The MitreSmiter 9000. Puts all doubt to rest.
I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.
Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes
that’s still a good 40-50 years of use!
Still cheaper to replace when it breaks than the Snap-On one.
That’s the cool thing about harbor freight. How many popes you really gonna hit on any given day?
In all seriousness, my dad was a mechanic, and he’d buy HF air impact guns instead of Mac or Matco or Snap-On. The nice ones cost four to six times as much, and needed to be serviced about every 18 months, during which time he was down a gun.
So he’d buy two or three HF guns, use one till it broke in six months, switch to another, replenish stock at his convenience.
Secondhand, Harbor Freight, and Ryobi is the way for most tools.
As many as it takes.
I was just thinking that Stanley Tools should capitalize on Stanley’s success and release a line of replica ceremonial tools backed by a viral campaign instead of suing them for their success.
I would probably buy a replica pope whacker, the U.S. congressional mace if virally advertised, or even a golden shovel, engraved with a jaunty nihilistic saying, like “Digging my own grave!”
I got a golden shovel for Christmas 2017. I was (am) obsessed with twin peaks and my wife made one for me like from the show (the comeback season or whatever). Because I have to dig myself out of the shit.
I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.
It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.
Yeah, but the lawful evil alignment restriction, fuck that.
may we have a photo?
I think it also has a set bonus with the crown. There’s a shroud in that set too, IIRC.
Silas? Is that you?
Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths
Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?
Only if he’s sleeping VERY soundly.
Could be, it’s the only bonk he’ll get
He carries it under his pointy hat
The Hammer of Pope-o-cles.
In the popemobile trunk. Obviously…
The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times
