I hate it here…
DES MOINES, Iowa (KWWL) - A resolution was introduced in the Iowa Senate Wednesday that asks the U.S. Supreme Court to reverse a ruling that guarantees the right to same-sex
I hate it here…
DES MOINES, Iowa (KWWL) - A resolution was introduced in the Iowa Senate Wednesday that asks the U.S. Supreme Court to reverse a ruling that guarantees the right to same-sex
Jesus: everybody love each other. That’s it that’s the whole thing.
American Christians: what a ninny. We’re not doing that.
No, their minds are more warped than that. They claim they are loving others by acting the way they do. From their point of view, the fate of our eternal souls is far more valuable than the feelings of a fleshy body. To them, it’s love to keep gays from marrying, to deny trans peoples’ identities, to force kids and women to give birth to their rapist’s babies… Etc… That’s all Christian Love.
Whistling
Aziraphale and Crowley looking at Jesus during the crucifixion.
Crowley: What was it he said that got everyone so upset?
Aziraphale: “Be kind to each other.”
Crowley: Oh, yeah. That’ll do it.
In fairness, the thing he said that got everyone upset was “I am the King of Kings, abandon all your worldly ties and join me on a pilgrimage to the capital city of the Levant. I will fulfill the ancient prophecy of a new independent Jewish state blessed by the One True God who may or may not also be me, we’ll sort that out in another 300 years.”
But the “Good Omens” line makes for better dark comedy.
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?
27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?
30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
I don’t understand the part about Mary and Martha.
Yep… fuck lawyers, too
I mean it’s all a magical story about a dude who didn’t exist at all probably.
But the “teachings” exist.
Yet the American Christian resists the message but embraces the magic.
No shortage of self-proclaimed messiahs and apocalyptic prophets running around Jerusalem 2,000 years ago. Less a question of whether Jesus existed than which one you’re talking about.
That’s hardly an American thing. All the Abrahamic religions and the pagan ones, too, were obsessed with the magical realism of their personal mythologies.
Neither were people blind, deaf, and dumb to the social message of the gospels. But people do lose sight of them as you become less like a 1st century apostle and more like a 1st century Pharasise.
“The Bible says homosexuality is abhorrent.”
“How many types of fabric are in that shirt?”
“… that passage is ambiguous!”
I bet they’ve eaten pork and shellfish too.
Cheeseburgers for sure.
The cheeseburger thing is rabbinical law.
It doesn’t say you can’t have a cheeseburger anywhere in any of those books.
It says “don’t cook a baby goat in its mother milk”
Rabbis extrapolated that to be : no cheeseburgers
And they also decided “do no work on the Sabbath” also meant “don’t push the buttons on the microwave.”
Or that if you circle your city with a wire, that counts as your city limits for purposes of traveling on the Sabbath.
Point is, rabbinical law has always been about finding the loopholes because they consider it a mark of godliness.
Nothing says piety like loopholes !
(And oppressing women)
Or “that’s irrelevant!”
Pretty sure the Bible also says that the devil can pick and choose parts from it for his own purposes.
Even Satan can quote scripture
At least we know there will never be a shortage of cherry pickers in the US.
There’s no love quite like Christian hate.
Jesus: Everybody love each other. That’s it that’s the whole thing.
American Christians: Okay, okay. That’s cool… uh, but not f*gs right?
Jesus: Did I fucking stutter?
I gotchu
Did a bunch of americans literally complain about “commie shit” after a reading of the sermon on the mount?
Ninny sounds like such a cool word! I’m going to start using it.
I am using it to replace the offensive and excluding terms I unfortunately got comfortable using as a youth in the 1980s