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The Picard ManeuverM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 1 year ago

Jenkins.

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Jenkins.

lemmy.world

The Picard ManeuverM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 1 year ago
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  • Patapon Enjoyer
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    101•1 year ago

    Kids these days aren’t even extratemporal enough to remember Jenkins smh

    • @DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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      30•1 year ago

      Wait, I think I’m experiencing the Mandello effect…

      • @theangryseal@lemmy.world
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        27•1 year ago

        It’s called the Mandeller effect. You’re trying to stir shit up, aren’t you?

        • @rimmedalpha@lemmynsfw.com
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          18•1 year ago

          Please, everyone knows it is the Momoa effect.

          • @lesnout27@lemm.ee
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            13•
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            1 year ago

            *Don Melon effect.

            • @variants@possumpat.io
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              16•1 year ago

              That was before, now it’s post melon

              • SeekPie
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                5•1 year ago

                God I love lemmy

      • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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        8•1 year ago

        It’s the Mengele Effect.

  • @lugal@lemmy.world
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    81•1 year ago

  • Flying SquidM
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    63•1 year ago

    I prefer this version:

    • @UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      68•1 year ago

      • TheLowestStone
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        31•1 year ago

        How would murdering a modern Scottish rock band stop the world wars?

        • @normalexit@lemmy.world
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          28•1 year ago

          They asked to be taken out, what more do you need to go on?

          • JackbyDev
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            5•1 year ago

            I recently heard the song is about two snipers trying to shoot each other. (No idea of it is true.)

    • Rose
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      8•1 year ago

      I prefer this version: Wikihistory

  • @Empricorn@feddit.nl
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    34•1 year ago

    First they came for the Jenkins. And I did not speak out. Because I was not a Jenkins…

  • @jaybone@lemmy.world
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    27•1 year ago

    I wished I could go back in time and kill DevOps, before it became a thing.

    • JackbyDev
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      10•1 year ago

      Now you have DevOps but everyone just calls it Ops.

  • Cyborganism
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    25•1 year ago

    I’m sorry. Who’s Jenkins?

    • @Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works
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      81•1 year ago

      1000016226

      Its this man He lives in this thing called “The Cloud”

      • @OneCardboardBox@lemmy.sdf.org
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        27•1 year ago

        The man is a monster. I don’t know how many of my build jobs have been murdered by this fiend.

        • @loutr@sh.itjust.works
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          12•1 year ago

          And how many devops have been driven to madness trying to configure what should be a simple task.

      • Cyborganism
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        13•1 year ago

        Oh yeah. Fuck that guy.

      • @pantyhosewimp@lemmynsfw.com
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        7•1 year ago

        So in the OP’s original timeline there is a flexible CI pipeline tool named Adolph. Huh…

        • partial_accumen
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          4•
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          1 year ago

          You can even see the stylized product icon with the simple facial features with the little square mustache. People in that timeline unironically refer to that CI tool as “The Final Solution” in CI.

      • tinyVoltron
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        2•1 year ago

        They should kill his father Hudson instead. That guy was a dick.

      • @LordCrom@lemmy.world
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        1•1 year ago

        No, he lives on a host in your data center.
        He tried to get to the cloud but githubs actions threw him down to the ground.

    • @abbadon420@lemm.ee
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      35•1 year ago

      You’'ll never know and you should be thankfukl for it.

    • The Picard ManeuverOPM
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      20•1 year ago

      I don’t know either, but for some reason his name sends a shiver down my spine.

    • @HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world
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      16•
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      1 year ago

      Jenkins can only refer to the legend Leeroy Jenkins https://youtu.be/mLyOj_QD4a4

      • @dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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        6•1 year ago

        I was gonna say. Jenkins needs zero help. Just let him do his (final) thing.

      • @fl42v@lemmy.ml
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        5•1 year ago

        At least he has a chicken

    • RBG
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      15•1 year ago

      Mmmh leeeroooooy jeeeeenkins

  • @RagingRobot@lemmy.world
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    24•1 year ago

    I thought this was going to be a dev ops joke at first then it never came

  • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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    21•1 year ago

    Well, was Jenkins worse than Hitler?

    • Boomer Humor Doomergod
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      38•
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      1 year ago

      My inclination is that Hitler was the least bad way out of that situation. Give Germany another decade and some other nationalist party would come to power, only this time they’ve got a decade of research behind them and maybe they get the bomb first. Or maybe the leader isn’t a drug-addled former artist who gets his entire staff hooked on uppers and they’re actually effective at defeating their enemies.

      So the reason we always seem to have Hitler is because the time cops keep people from killing him because the other timelines are even worse.

      • @jaybone@lemmy.world
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        7•1 year ago

        Then what are the time cops doing about Trump?

        • TheLowestStone
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          9•1 year ago

          Shit… is this evidence that he’s the lesser of two evils? I don’t know if I can handle that thought.

          • @cammoblammo@lemmy.world
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            3•1 year ago

            The best thing about his presidency was his total incompetence in getting what he wanted. Imagine what would happen if Steve Bannon or Steven Miller were more than just the puppetmasters…

            • @JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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              3•1 year ago

              Steven Miller

              I’d call him “Maurice”.

      • ObliviousEnlightenment
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        7•1 year ago

        Would explain the failed assassination attempts

      • DefederateLemmyMl
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        5•1 year ago

        only this time they’ve got a decade of research behind them and maybe they get the bomb first

        Maybe that’s why we’re living in the universe where this didn’t happen, because in the universe where it did, we wouldn’t exist (many worlds/anthropic principle interpretation)

      • @KevonLooney@lemm.ee
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        1•1 year ago

        There are no “time cops” because even existing in the past changes things. It’s impossible to change the past and return to “the present” that you know. It would be a completely different timeline even if you just observe.

        • Schadrach
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          6•
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          1 year ago

          No, not at all. There is a single coherent timeline. The world as it exists now is the final total of all time travel that will ever be going to have occurred to points before now.

          You could try to go back and kill Hitler, but we already know you failed.

        • JackbyDev
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          3•1 year ago

          They’re talking about a different set of time travel rules. Time travel is fictional so it doesn’t need to be logical.

  • @the_artic_one@programming.dev
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    18•
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    1 year ago

    We rolled back your change to fix Jenkins, please remember to run preflight checks before submitting.

    • JackbyDev
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      4•1 year ago

      The build passed on my machine. … Oh wait, my COVID bug fix didn’t make it into main. Uh oh.

  • @TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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    12•
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    1 year ago

    At least he has chicken.

  • @kameecoding@lemmy.world
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    11•
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    1 year ago

    This is a shittier version of this skit

    https://youtu.be/2o7e1i7nJuQ?si=iCRex5rxPkP2pFFs

    • @FIST_FILLET@lemmy.ml
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      2•
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      1 year ago

      fuck that’s good. here’s a tangentially related one with surprisingly high production quality https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VQ2iVZMQ1U

      • @IMongoose@lemmy.world
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        3•1 year ago

        I’ve also come to share a tangentially related video:

        https://youtu.be/9S75Rfva9O8?si=on2NdTUO3Fr1ErVw

        • @FIST_FILLET@lemmy.ml
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          2•1 year ago

          brilliant!

    • @MindTraveller@lemmy.ca
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      -3•1 year ago

      I can’t verify that because that skit has a much larger file size and I ain’t streaming that. I have other things to download.

  • @Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca
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    9•1 year ago

    JENKINS WAS MY PA!!!

  • Jeom
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    7•1 year ago

    Harold Jenkins from umbrella academy?

  • @corus_kt@lemmy.world
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    7•
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    1 year ago

    The hardest choices require the strongest wills. They do not remember you, nor what you’ve sacrificed… but I will honor you, slayer of Jenkins, hero to humanity o7

  • @Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
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    6•
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    1 year ago

    If we killed hitler we would have more competent nazi and possibly still third reich over here but no Poland and I am selfish I wanna exist ya know

    Best person would be trump as it is recent enough to not suddenly cease to exist due to various butterfly effects, still pretty risky though. All of people that died by accidents between trump election and today would be from different, new set. You can calculate probability even based on average yearly accidents.

    God I shudder to think what if u killed Julius Caesar. We would be like unrecognisable due to all branching out possibilities over the years. Real quantum parallel worlds shit

    • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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      6•1 year ago

      what if u killed Julius Caesar

      Wonder what the month of July would be called?

      • @practisevoodoo@lemmy.world
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        5•1 year ago

        September

        • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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          1•1 year ago

          Then what would September be?

          • @practisevoodoo@lemmy.world
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            2•1 year ago

            November

            • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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              3•1 year ago

              Let’s make it easier, what are all the months in the new timeline where Julius Caesar was killed before becoming famous called?

              • @practisevoodoo@lemmy.world
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                3•1 year ago

                Well now we’re getting really speculative. But probably what we have now but with something like undember or under and duoly or duoer in the 11 and 12 month positions.

      • @jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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        3•1 year ago

        And August.

      • @drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world
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        2•1 year ago

        All months will be named after Pompey.

      • @letsgo@lemm.ee
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        2•1 year ago

        Well if Brutus took over, Brutey?

      • @Shardikprime@lemmy.world
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        1•1 year ago

        Myly

    • @ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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      3•1 year ago

      The good news is that if someone went back and changed the past, then events would transpire such that they never had to go back in time for that reason, and so they wouldn’t., i.e. nothing would change. Not unless the whole exercise spins only the time traveler off into their own new universe in which they’re the only one with a memory of this alternative timeline from which they came.

    • @AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      3•1 year ago

      Might be able to avoid The Nazis and The Bolsheviks gaining power altogether by going to 1970, buying a year’s worth of McDonald’s food, and delivering it to Taft in 1911. He’s so damn fat he got stuck in the tub in The White House. He’ll happily eat that shit and hopefully die before the 1912 election, allowing Teddy to have his third and fourth term. In a head to head race between Roosevelt and Wilson, Wilson doesn’t have a prayer of winning.

      https://youtu.be/hLiI6kXZkZI?si=6xtXMaIJ_PQSf186

    • @drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world
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      1•1 year ago

      That and Trump might not even make to the election anyway.

    • JackbyDev
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      1•1 year ago

      what if u killed Julius Caesar

      Then the NCR would take over. Can’t you see that they’re just as bad?? Nevermind the slaves.

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