“The normal amount is zero”
“…since when?”
I told a doctor once that I got a “normal amount of headaches”. He asked me how many that was and I told him 1 or 2 a week, to which he responded “the normal amount is 0”.
I was in to see him about migraines.
I’ve been in the same boat, except that it was after a few months of being on migraine medication. Told my doc I was down to normal amounts of headaches and he said “are you sure? How many?” And then we had the exact same interaction lol
Consider the fact that for many in chronic pain they do not realize that many people have none. For example I have two or three headaches a year and it is almost always related to caffeine intake or lack of it.
Man. I wake up with a headache nearly every morning. Almost everyone in my family does (mom’s side, don’t know dad’s side) so I haven’t thought about it.
After about 20 minutes it goes away.
Now that I think about it, it’s probably sinus issues. That’s something else common in my family.
Maybe because we all had coal stoves growing up. Who knows? A doctor maybes :p
Every single person I’ve even spoken to makes me think that’s a lie.
I don’t know anyone who isn’t in some form of constant pain.
I diagnose you with OLD
Occupational Lung Disease? Onerous Life Disorder?
One Long-Ass Dick
A long dick specialized for asses?
I believe you’re thinking of One Long Ass-Dick.
Physically I’m doing pretty good. I have a thing where my hip tightens up sometimes but that’s not constant. It’s the mental health that is a concern.
I had a particularly bad ingrown toenail removed once and my whole body suddenly relaxed. It felt like even my scalp was relaxing. I think chronic pain must be very stressful for your entire body.
I’m not. Closest is my IBS and a constant fear of being away from a toilet for long enough that it becomes an issue. Had the entire city mapped out for toilets when I had an on-site job. Then one fateful day, they closed a street, the tram had to go around and added 30 mins to the travel time. I saw it turn right instead od going forward and I have never felt such fear in my life since
I used to not be in constant pain and many younger people aren’t.
The reason why I’m now in mild pain a lot of the time is because I took up running this past spring. Ever since then, something always hurts… usually something in my feet but occasionally a knee will get injured or something.
Exercise is good for you my ass!!!
I’m built diffefectively 🫠
I like this. Diffectively works better but someone will chime in saying you made a spelling error even with context.
Or differctively. I’m differctive for sure.
The name’s Diff… Diff Fective.
You think I’m Abe Normal? No, but I have a lot of respect for them, really pushing the meta strategy further than ever.
Abe Normal is just a guy like me. We knew each other in the old country. Shady characters all around. We never got close but I could count on him in a pinch. I never dreamed we’d be partners, solving mysteries together.
Norm Al Goody runs a pharmacy at the edge of town, and I’d bet my life on the fact they he’s supplying the Wretch Heads with their junk.
If I have to beat it out of him, I will. Abe thinks we should handle it by the book, but I’m Detective Diff Fective. I’m not known for playing by the books.
Sorry. :p
Detective
I actually was going to say something like that but got bored with it. I’d rather watch NWAR again for the detective puns.
My RMT today was going through the initial questions and asked “pain?” With regards to my physical pain, and then went “stress?” And my brain short-circuited and I said “isn’t that the same thing” so I’d say 10/10 for both in these times, thank you.
After getting old I realized why they’re called ‘trades’. You trade your physical health for money.
I want a refund.
And the 0/10, the 1/10, the 2/10, the 3/10, and the 5/10.
Above that you gotta do special calculus depending what the doc provides.
6 if you want pain killers, 7 if you want the good shit, and 8+ if you want to be dismissed as seeking drugs.
9+ if you’re being honest
No way.
I received opiates after abdominal surgery only after I explained why my pain level was only stated as a 3 or 4 out of 10, if 10 was “The worse pain [I] could possibly imagine.”
2/10 is manageable temporarily but not chronically.
3/10 was the limit where I could hide it. It requires a lot of energy to maintain composure.
4/10 was where movement was restricted.
I can’t quite remember what five and six were.
7/10 means I can’t form complete sentences uninterrupted.
8/10 means I have mostly lost the ability to communicate and I begin to hallucinate.
9/10 means I am unable to understand where I am or what’s happening to me. It’s around this point where I have blacked out.
Never ask someone with a healthy imagination to work on a scale where the limit is the worst they can imagine. Besides, is the scale linear or logarithmic?
If I’m blacked out I’m not in pain any more, you just needed to just bump up your score 2 points and wouldn’t even need to explain.
“Sneezing isn’t normal”
Stop gaslighting me, doctor.
