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Track_Shovel to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish • 6 months ago

Bilblow Baggins?

slrpnk.net

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Bilblow Baggins?

slrpnk.net

Track_Shovel to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish • 6 months ago
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  • Brave Little Hitachi Wand
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    163•6 months ago

    I gotta say fellas, that is the most erotic thing I’ve read this decade, and the wife got me into romfic last year.

    • @BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
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      48•6 months ago

      Yeah I wish this story was true and happened to me as well lmao

      • @pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3•6 months ago

        👀

    • Klnsfw 🏳️‍🌈
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      6•6 months ago

      In my opinion, it would be even better if the roles were reversed, and the guy was giving oral sex.

      • @tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world
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        9•6 months ago

        Why do you assume it was a woman giving head

        • Klnsfw 🏳️‍🌈
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          8•
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          6 months ago

          I didn’t. That’s why I used the neutral term “oral sex” instead of blowjob or pussy licking

          • @TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world
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            12•6 months ago

            What a cunnilingus cunning linguist!

  • Mayor Poopington
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    83•6 months ago

    Soooo is she single?

    • @halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world
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      61•6 months ago

      You know… I never even considered that this was being told from a woman’s perspective, I 100% just assumed it was a dude, there was no doubt in my mind.

      • @ikidd@lemmy.world
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        11•6 months ago

        I saw meme Netflix girl with the crazy eyes and gun when I was reading it.

      • @Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        7•6 months ago

        Given the pink triangle in their profile pic, I’m gonna assume OOP is a gay man.

    • Poplar?
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      31•6 months ago

      Or he :P

  • @loopedcandle@lemmynsfw.com
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    80•6 months ago

    I always thought my kink was too specific, but look, there it is for all to see.

  • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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    65•6 months ago

    I would gladly be on either side of this, tbh. I did once get a bit of a blowjob during doctor who, but I made him stop because I couldn’t focus on the episode (heaven sent). We canoodled after, but he was clearly upset I valued a show over sex. But, like, it was heaven sent! And it was the premier of the episode. I made the right choice.

    • @pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      17•6 months ago

      Lmao mood, like if you’re going to put something on for background noise it better be something neither of us care about. Being on the giving end sounds amazing, marathon dick sucking to go with marathon lotr watching, amazing.

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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        6•6 months ago

        Yeah, I could totally be on the giving end, and wouldn’t mind being on the receiving end, if the blower were also into what was on, and it was like a major edging session like in the image.

        Or, y’know, if we did it doggy style and both watched xfiles

        • @pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          3•6 months ago

          …are you doing anything next weekend?

          • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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            2•6 months ago

            Nope, send me an address and cue uo Mulder and Scully!

        • @AtariDump@lemmy.world
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          3•6 months ago

          You and me baby….

          • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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            3•6 months ago

            … Ain’t nothing but mammals…

            • @AtariDump@lemmy.world
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              3•6 months ago

              …so let’s do it like they do it…

              • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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                2•6 months ago

                On the discovery channel!

    • @wetsoggybread@lemmy.world
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      8•6 months ago

      Heaven sent is my favorite episode with Capaldi, just the idea and plot of the episode is well written and the acting is wonderful too

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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        1•6 months ago

        It’s so freaking good. Way better than a blowjob lmao

        • @AtariDump@lemmy.world
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          2•6 months ago

          Depends on the BJ.

          • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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            1•6 months ago

            I’ve had some mind blowingly good blowjob, but for me, heaven sent will always be better. Though sometimes the buildup/horniness will mean I’ll take the less good blowjob over the superior Whosperience

    • @NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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      4•6 months ago

      Pretty sure practically the same thing happened in Queer As Folk before RTD went on to reboot Doctor Who.

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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        1•6 months ago

        Really? Haha. I need to get around to watching queer as folk at some point

  • @ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org
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    48•6 months ago

    reeling

    1. Being too awestruck or shocked to comprehend anything
    2. to be laughing uncontrollably to the point you don’t know what bodily fluids will excrete from your orifices

    (Urban Dictionary)

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆
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      31•6 months ago

      It has the same definition in a real dictionary, too.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart
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        11•6 months ago

        Urban dictionary is a real dictionary.

        • @Zulu@lemmy.world
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          16•6 months ago

          Missed opportunity to say “reel” dictionary.

  • -☆-
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    30•6 months ago

    God that’s hot af

  • @janNatan@lemmy.ml
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    29•6 months ago

    This is why the ideal background movie is any Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. They are hilarious, but ultimately the movies behind them tend to be boring. You don’t usually need to pay attention to the plot to get most of the jokes. So, your attention can weave in and out. They are also usually monotone enough to fall asleep to, which is a bonus.

    • Flying Squid
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      3•6 months ago

      I lost my virginity during a Turkey Day marathon. 100% serious.

  • ElfBean
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    27•6 months ago

    God I wish that were me. Either of them, I don’t care

  • @Saryn@lemmy.world
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    27•6 months ago

    Lucky bastard

  • Bunnylux
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    27•6 months ago

    Extremely relatable. I tried to watch LOTR with my boyfriend who never saw it/cared about it. He was like eating snacks and not hearing all the dialogue. I had to turn it off after 10 minutes and crying twice already. I couldn’t do it. I cared too much.

    • threelonmusketeers
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      7•6 months ago

      So this means you’re single now? He’s obviously not worthy. ;)

      • Bunnylux
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        2•6 months ago

        Nah, he gets a pass. He’s a little too old for it to have been a formative experience like it was for me.

    • @BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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      -12•6 months ago

      Don’t sweat it, it’s just a bunch of pixies running around for 9 hours.

      • @stinky@redlemmy.com
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        11•6 months ago

        They literally could have flown to modor on eagles

        • @Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world
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          5•6 months ago

          That was the plan and that’s where they were going just before Gandalf fell to his (presumed) death with that Balrog. They were on their way to the land of the eagles. And it’s why, just before Gandalf fell, he said “fly you fools”.

          Read that somewhere on here or reddit.

          • @stinky@redlemmy.com
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            4•6 months ago

            “Get in the car Steve”

            hospitalized for jaw injury ice skating

            idiots fucking walk rather than driving

        • @Ross_audio@lemmy.world
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          3•6 months ago

          How about they Walk Walk Walk Walk Walk Walk Walk Walk

          • @Slovene@feddit.nl
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            1•6 months ago

            Even the fucking trees walked in those movies. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8d_oSWH4pMQ

  • @Rooty@lemmy.world
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    24•6 months ago

    I’m guessing the edging was again at maximum during the Aragorn helmet kicking scene.

    • @Valthorn@feddit.nu
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      10•6 months ago

      He reacted the same way Aragorn did.

      • @MrVilliam@lemm.ee
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        16•6 months ago

        You know, he broke his toe during that scene. That’s why the scream was so soulful. If you didn’t know any better, you’d just assume the look on his face and the passionate shouting were just from the blowjob.

    • @photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8•6 months ago

      That’s Two Towers. Let’s hope he gets another date.

      • Log in | Sign up
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        1•6 months ago

        Oh, this one’s a keeper.

  • @Denjin@lemmings.world
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    20•6 months ago

    I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

  • @zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com
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    13•6 months ago

    Mistake?

  • @bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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    13•6 months ago

    Oh come on, “my precious” was RIGHT there…

  • BlueFootedPetey
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    12•6 months ago

    She was explaining bombadil, cause he’s not in the movies, right?

    Never got through the books and don’t recall him in the movies. He’s magic card is super neat if very narrow, anyone wanna give me a quick Who or what he is?

    • krimsonbun
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      22•6 months ago

      Sure, pull your pants down.

    • @MrPoopbutt@lemmy.world
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      9•6 months ago

      Tom Bombadil is a Tolkien self insert who is immune to the effects of the ring and has a really hott wife iirc

      • @ToucheGoodSir@lemy.lol
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        4•6 months ago

        Huh haven’t heard of the self insert thing. Thought bombadil was one of the valor in stealth mode?

        • @Madison420@lemmy.world
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          5•6 months ago

          Maybe, there’s also an argument to be made for Tom being an earthly embodiment of eru the creator given the whole knowing the world when it was young and seeing the first rain and first acorn bit.

          • @lud@lemm.ee
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            4•
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            9 days ago

            deleted by creator

            • @Madison420@lemmy.world
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              2•6 months ago

              Sorta. We know he’s amoung the oldest beings in universe given the acorn line being able to be interpreted as seeing the first acorn or to be the first to see an acorn so first valar or eru.

              I like to think he’s the conscious embodiment entropy of middle earth.

              • Wugmeister
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                1•6 months ago

                I mean, its entirely possible that he was created as some unforseen confluence of melodies in the Song of the Ainur. Sort of like how the popular theory for the origin of Ungoliant is that she arose from the discord between Melkor’s song and Eru’s song

                • @Madison420@lemmy.world
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                  2•6 months ago

                  Certainly, I just like that everything with a purpose seems drawn to him and he then directs them to where they’re supposed to be but they all leave questioning each other or themselves as to what the fuck just happened.

    • @untorquer@lemmy.world
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      2•
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      6 months ago

      Not a TLDR but…

      Audiobook in case you are better with that. Other two books are there somewhere. There’s also a whole thing about getting a sick dagger which never shows in the movies. Also a whole thing in the conclusion of the series about Hobbiton which is fun. The movies did a good job selecting plots to omit.

      https://archive.org/details/TheFellowshipOfTherRingAudiobook

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