• Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    110·
    9 months ago

    I thought getting a vasectomy would make me more popular than it did. Instead I get “why are you telling me this” from the lady serving me coffee.

    • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      5·
      9 months ago

      Having just read a comment about someone who actually went through the process of having a kid by employing stuff like cycle and fertility tracking, scheduling both sex and abstinence, as well as other not-fun stuff, your comment made me think of taking the kink to an extreme, where instead of lots of rambunctious boning, it was a couple nerds doing intense and fruitless science to find the optimal way to impregnate someone that was impossible to impregnate. (Unless they start looking at the mating habits of bedbugs, but that’s a third, separate, entirely unhinged thing.)

      I mean, I’m pretty sure I know which interpretation you meant. But brains are weird and I’m sleep deprived.

  • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
    29·
    9 months ago

    It was so good when gf was on birth control. But alas side effects and it’s better for her now that she is off it.

            • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
              2·
              9 months ago

              As someone who isn’t going to have kids and doesn’t want them, I still get the growing old alone concern.

              It’s not that I would have wanted children to take care of me, but that I don’t trust the social safety system in the U.S.
              Even if things are going well, it’s still a terrifying proposition. My first job ever was as a dietary aid at a mid-level retirement home, and while some of the people there were thriving (namely the folks who somehow managed to go into the home with their partners), the majority were a study of what happens when the ability to live exceeds the will. It was a formative experience.

              That’s why I’m in therapy and desperately scared that between neurodivergence and trauma, that I’m not going to be one of those really social old people with friends everywhere that care for them and keep them company. Although I think it’s not a given that kids will automatically be there for you as you age, I can see the appeal of doing what you can to hedge your bets. It’s a terrifying world out there, and we only have each other.

            • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
              55·
              9 months ago

              I also don’t wanna grow old alone.

              Why are you expecting your kids to be your caretakers?

              And what if they move to another country for work? You’re still growing old alone.

              • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
                5·
                9 months ago

                Why are you expecting your kids to be your caretakers?

                I am not. I just see how much better my grandparents lives are with their kids and grandkids that they get to see often.

                And what if they move to another country for work? You’re still growing old alone.

                Not as alone as if I never had any family. I also have 2 brothers so they might have kids and worse case scenario they remember I exist.

        • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
          14·
          9 months ago

          Look into freezing sperm now while you’re young and it’s squirmy and spermy and healthy. Then you can get the snip (or the no-snip method) and when you do want kids you won’t be ruining your sex life with scheduled sessions. She can get inseminated when the ultrasound shows an ovum is waiting and it’ll have a better chance of conception. Go in with her if you can and she’s comfortable with that. Just as you will for the birth.

          If you do it when you’re young you get the most years of benefits, and if you’re a couple you’ll be saving the cost of pills or IUDs or condoms or whatever over the years. To say nothing about the costs of pregnancy or even just the possible-pregnancy scares and tests.

          • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
            7·
            9 months ago

            I think I can live with using condoms to be completely honest. I do intend to get a vasectomy after I either have kids or decide that I don’t want them.

            • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
              51·
              9 months ago

              It sounds like fun but having gone through it for a couple of years, it’s not. There’s times of abstinence and times when it’s all about impregnation, not spontaneity or fun. She’s constantly watching her cycle, and every period is extra depressing. And that’s not counting any infertility treatments like hormones fucking with emotions. Our now-adult offspring are amazing and I’m glad we did it, but it wasn’t just “fuck a lot.”

      • three@lemmy.zip
        230·
        9 months ago

        Wrong! The woman should have the responsibility of preventing children. It’s her body.

        • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
          101·
          9 months ago

          The woman should be ABLE and ALLOWED to protect herself against pregnancy, yes, but the responsibility isn’t all hers. Every unwanted pregnancy starts with sperm. Her ovum was just sitting there, innocently drifting down the fallopian tube, staying inside her body.

          Any man who doesn’t accept his full responsibility for preventing pregnancy, or for the consequences of a pregnancy occurring, is a shit.

          Female-centered methods that are invasive like IUDs or rely on hormones like the Pill have common side effects like intense pain, personality changes, increased stroke and heart attack risk. The only reason women tolerate them is because the consequences of pregnancy are higher for them. The side effects of vasectomy are temporary pain and bruising, and sperm granuloma. Sperm quality diminishes quite slowly and sperm can be frozen beforehand, so it’s still possible to father a wanted child.