• Caveman
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    913 months ago

    So many people have thought I was gay I went into introspection. Turns out I’m very straight.

    • @whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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      663 months ago

      I will say this in my bluntly antiquated way (47 man).

      I kissed my buddy in high school because fuck it it was a dare. Didn’t like it it’s fucking weird. I wear pink. Love pink. I’ve painted my nails, dyed my hair, wore a dress before. I do all that because I know I’m straight. It’s hilarious watching less secure people do juggling exercises in their heads when I know I’m going home and I’m fucking chicks.

      My current gf is far more conservative than I am so I’ve toned down a lot but my joke has always been my grandma thought I was gay and asked my cousin once. He told her I’m not because he’s walked in on me so many times having sex with girls lol.

      Moral of the story, don’t give a fuck what people think. Do you and if doing you is being gay then be fucking gay. Own it. Trust people like me will have your back if some dickhead pushes back.

      I’m with John Waters. We need to bring perverts back into fashion.

      • @Lycist@lemmy.world
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        193 months ago

        Dude, same.

        I don’t wear much pink, but I paint my nails, I color my beard non-standard colors (I look great in purple).

        Completely straight, never once had an interest in the same gender. I often accompany friends to drag shows and gay bars and I have a blast.

        • @AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca
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          93 months ago

          If it helps narrow minded people understand just say that pink used to be considered the man’s color and baby blue was actually for girls before WW2. It’s fun to watch them realize colors have no gender.

      • Caveman
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        43 months ago

        Yeah, it’s usually just a compliment. Some things that implied I was gay were having gay friends, smiling, being friendly and not always having sex-seeking behavior with girls. Probably also that I don’t have traditionally male hobbies like football and I’m also a good listener. Then there’s the fact that I grew up in an all female household and I’m up for listening to matters of the heart.

        Rest I’m pretty much a stereotype guy, I go to the gym, mediocre hygiene and dress like I have no sense of style. I’ve had some girls even say “I first thought you were gay but in reality you’re really straight”. Probably my love of having sex with girls gave it away finally.

      • ivanafterall ☑️
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        33 months ago

        This sort of thinking is what made me realize that early gay figures (e.g. think the extremes of San Francisco and the like) were straight-up punk rock. “You don’t like us and want to harm us? Check it out, I’m walking my partner on a leash and we’re not wearing pants. Go fuck yourself.” That perspective really morphed my view into a real respect.

      • @shalafi@lemmy.world
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        23 months ago

        I’m 54, thin and wear women’s clothes all the time. My wife balked at me getting a couple of white linen blouses at the thrift, then she saw me in one at the beach. Hubba hubba.

    • AFK BRB Chocolate
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      133 months ago

      I’m my late teens and early twenties, I had several occurrences of gay guys hitting on me, to the point where I started to worry that there was something about me. It seems funny to me now, but I really did have a period of wondering if I could be and was just repressing it because of my Catholic upbringing. But ultimately I realized that I just didn’t find guys attractive at all, and even the thought of kissing a guy was kind of a boner killer. So I get what you’re saying, even though on the surface it sounds funny to say you wondered if you could be gay.

      Sometime later I ended up with a couple of close gay friends, and I mentioned it to them. They said it was probably because I put out a very non-judgemental vibe and didn’t seem like a homophobe, so it probably didn’t seem risky to hit on me.

      • nikki
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        33 months ago

        im gay but not in the way anyone thought

    • Buglefingers
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      43 months ago

      For some reason lots of women think I’m gay too, even when I had a woman friend wingman for me. I’m self sufficient, reasonably clean, I dress nice (with help), and honestly a bit odd so I suppose that’s why they’d think that. Just like you though, I’m quite straight

      • Porto881
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        -23 months ago

        They weren’t calling ya gay because you dress nice and take care of yourself, it was that cock in yer ass

        • Buglefingers
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          33 months ago

          Ah, I thought they wouldn’t be able to notice through my pants >.< next time I won’t wear something so tight!

  • EleventhHour
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    503 months ago

    OK, now I wanna see the second pic. Cause that boy has a lovely bedroom. I would be very happy to get my ass destroyed in.

    But I need to see a second pic, to see if he has a nice bedroom.

    What? I have standards.

      • EleventhHour
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        3 months ago

        Lovely bedroom and you’re humble.

        You’re welcome to send me a private message ;)

        But seriously, having a sense of taste for the interior of one’s home does not make a person gay— it means you’re an adult with good taste. It does, however, run the risk of classifying you as “fabulous.”

        I wish this is my bedroom…

        • @a_random_lunatic@linux.community
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          243 months ago

          That’s not my bedroom that’s just the second picture from the Reddit post.

          But now I’m kind of curious I might dig through the op’s profile in search of a picture of their bathroom lol.

          • EleventhHour
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            63 months ago

            lol, no shade. If you find the bathroom pics, please post them! Lol.

        • @zurohki@aussie.zone
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          73 months ago

          But seriously, having a sense of taste for the interior of one’s home does not make a person gay— it means you’re an adult with good taste. It does, however, run the risk of classifying you as “fabulous.”

          “I’ve had loads of gay experiences. I’ve seen a pair of shoes and said, I have to have them! I’ve described a cake as ‘to die for’. But I’ve never had the gay experience of having another man’s cock in my mouth and/or bum. And I think that really is the one that counts.”

          - Jimmy Carr (as close as I can remember it)

      • jackeryjoo
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        103 months ago

        That shoe rack next to the door will prevent it from opening more than a crack, and it annoys me.

        • Zier
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          133 months ago

          That’s because he does not want people opening the door to the sex closet.

        • @FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee
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          23 months ago

          Those damn “form over function” people…

          Anyway that’s my excuse for lack of home decoration sense: it’s all function-first. Yeah. Totally that.

      • @ryedaft@sh.itjust.works
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        83 months ago

        This is much nicer than the view of the bed. I hate those little prison / kitchen windows over the bed.

        Plot twist: girlfriend is trans but in the closet so bedroom guy really is gay.

    • @Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      33 months ago

      I need to know if they have books! If you go home with someone and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ‘em!

      I’m a proponent of literacy, by any means necessary.

  • @ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    This seems like the thread to ask. I am wiring up a two-way switch so that a person on either side of my bed can turn the bedside light on or off without having to roll over to the side that the light is on. Is… Is that gay?

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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      373 months ago

      It is gay, yes, but since you’re doing electrical work it’s pretty butch. I’d say it makes you more lesbian than anything else. If you get some smart plugs to put them lamps on you can set them for voiced activation and regain some heterosexuality (but only the nerdy, techy kind that comes with big Reddit Mod energy).

      If you want to be back into Normal Straight Bro territory you have to make the voice command for the lamps the sound of you railing a chick. It’s the only way to square things up. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules, and homo math can be very complicated.

      • "no" bananaOP
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        113 months ago

        I would honestly say that the smart plugs and general electrical work pretty much go hand in hand. All my very much heterosexual male acquaintances that are electricians love smart plugs. Smart plugs everywhere. Going to their homes is like coming to an experimental museum of “how can I just barely make this building up to code while nothing fucking works”.

        • Dharma Curious (he/him)
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          13 months ago

          Honest to God, I love my smart plugs. Starting using them because my mom is bed bound, and can’t get up to turn off lights and such… Eventually just put everydamnthing on one. It’s just so fucking convenient… When the power doesn’t go out (lots of brownouts here) and knock the Internet out.

        • @ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          The naming is not consistent. As Wikipedia puts it,

          This article follows usage in the United States. Readers in most other countries should read “two-way” or “SPDT” for the United States “three-way”; and “intermediate”, “crossover” or “DPDT” switch for the United States “four-way”.

          The switches I’m using are marked with cute “ON/ON” labels which I suppose could be a metaphor for something.

          • @tetris11@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            If you rock it up to a switch, then as the wiring diagram shows: (N)ot gonna (L)ie, (MCB) My Curious Bro, a 3 way gang-bang is pretty gay.

            Edit: on an unrelated note, if the neutral wire comes from the light rose and not the switch itself as shown above then you’re gonna need a switch that handles live wires only. In the UK a lot of the newer houses now have the neutral wire in the switch, but before then many UK houses were very gay with the wiring.

        • @deltapi@lemmy.world
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          13 months ago

          Well, if there’s only 2 switches then 2x 2-way is enough. Otherwise, it’s (n-2)x 3-way switches plus 2x 2-way.

    • @Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      43 months ago

      Lightstrip behind the headboard. Wireless switch in the middle. Problem solved, no homosexuality involved.

  • Sabata
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    403 months ago

    Not gay, I just fear the idea of being around another human. I am incapable of romance.

        • @voldage@lemmy.world
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          43 months ago

          As an awkard person I’ll admit that it would reassure me somewhat. I mean, I wasn’t going to but I’m glad it’s an option. It’s like feeling being accepted despite messing up before potentially messing up, which allows us to skip that dreadful moment between messing up and being either forgiven or despised. And come on, imagine shitting in a closet by, uh, mistake, and not fully expecting that your entire social live is now in ruins and you need to delete all of your social media and move to different country. It could be worded better, sure, but it’s a neat gesture.

          • Prehensile_cloaca
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            33 months ago

            15 years later

            “Hey, the closet shitter is here! Man, remember that time you shit in my closet?”

      • Sabata
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        43 months ago

        I think the cops would show up if I just randomly give a stranger head pats after allowing them smell my finger.

  • @Frostbeard@lemmy.world
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    393 months ago

    I spent so many years in the army I am stil not really de-institutionalized. I made my bed every day as a student with bed spread as I didn’t want to dirty my bed clothes I’m case someone sat on the bed (small room). I still fold clothes for easy counting. I used to make my wife super angry when I complained about clutter “in the common rooms” as I always took my comic, book or whatever with me as I left the room.

    Tbh I only ever got positive comments from the women I dated.

  • Porto881
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    3 months ago

    Silly silly bedroom lol. Malelivingspace is the malefashionadvice for chubby reddit boys. Everything plain, soulless, and inoffensive. No character whatsoever, just “stick to the template,” Eames lounges and brasilia credenzas galore. The only place online where “what color KALLAX should I get to match my 670?” is asked as a serious question and will get many strongly opinionated replies.

    Live a little in your living space. I think even basic.space gives better homespherebuilding advice than that sub

    • Captain Aggravated
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      63 months ago

      Here I’m used to it being “TV on the floor in front of a recliner in an otherwise unfurnished apartment” kind of thing.

        • Captain Aggravated
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          3 months ago

          The “women just can’t handle how little it takes to make men happy” genre of shitposting.

          Edit: I once saw it phrased as “A shut-in with with one chair, a ps4 and the clothes he’s worn since high school might be the most energy efficient of us all” and I struggle to argue with that.

    • @ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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      33 months ago

      malefashionadvice

      I used to visit that sub a lot about ten years ago. It looks like it hasn’t changed a bit in that time - it even still has the same little fit drawings on the top bar. Has male fashion somehow frozen?

      • @camr_on@lemmy.world
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        63 months ago

        All the content creators on MFA dipped after the api drama, all that’s left on that sub is reposts. Many of the userbase moved to their discord

      • Porto881
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        43 months ago

        I wish it hadn’t changed, it’s gotten much worse, as has much of Reddit. Like the other guy said, all the mods on MFA left last year and took the core community to Discord (apparently, I don’t use Discord though). What’s left is just middle schoolers and bot accounts.

        Interestingly I did hop back on Reddit a few days ago on a little check-in and saw this post on MFA. Might’ve been the subconscious reason I name dropped it above in the first place.

    • socsa
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      13 months ago

      I just don’t get the idea of separating living spaces by gender in the first place.

  • @Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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    343 months ago

    This is so bizarre. So his GF decides he’s gay, because his room is tidy? No mention of sex life, so I’m going to assume there’s no issues there.

    Such a weird assumption to make.

    • @Luccus@feddit.org
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      3 months ago

      I have “the aura”. And although I don’t know what that means, I’ve started asking anyone who asks me if I’m actually gay, what leads them to that assumption.

      The current top picks are:

      I look put together, I care about hygene, I clean my home, I’m usually friendly, I look happy.

      Like… their assumption is correct. But when did caring for oneself become a sign of the big gay? What are straight people doing?!

    • @bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net
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      223 months ago

      Nah it’s contrived.

      It’s an impossible accusation to disprove, because it’s not a thing you did, it’s your preference. You can only “protest too much” or “protest too little”.

      Likely the other person wants the relationship to end, but can’t stand the idea of it being their fault. So it’s the “closeted” person’s fault.

    • @jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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      273 months ago

      Am gay. I don’t make the bed unless I expect visits. Does it make me feel fricking good to see a tidy bed and house? Yes. Will I do it every day? Absolutely not.

      • Victor
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        3 months ago

        Just like us cis folk might feel as well. Am cis male, feel the same way, sort of. In fact, I might even make the bed more often when my wife isn’t around because she keeps telling me that living things like a tidy bed more just after you get up out of it, so wait a while until making it. But if I wait, it never gets done. I’ll do it immediately if she isn’t around.

        • Fushuan [he/him]
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          103 months ago

          FYI, gay men can be cis too, I guess you meant straight. Cis means you feel like the sex you physically have, it has nothing to do with sexual preference.

          • Victor
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            43 months ago

            Ah okay. Gosh, I’ve had the wrong idea about that. I thought it was what you describe plus being straight. My mistake, thank you so much for the correction.

        • @SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world
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          23 months ago

          living things like a tidy bed more just after you get up out of it, so wait a while until making it.

          I’m confused.

          • Victor
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            23 months ago

            Couldn’t find the word when writing that comment, but I was referring to mites. Mites like a warm, made bed. But if you leave everything a bit rustled up while the bed cools off after you’ve left it, they don’t get too comfortable. Then you can make the bed after it has cooled. I’m guessing they like both the warmth, as well as the easier navigation of a made bed?

            • @phlegmy@sh.itjust.works
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              13 months ago

              Mites just appreciate when you make the bed for them.

              I’d personally be more inclined to get rid of the mites rather than make them slightly uncomfortable, but each to their own.

              • Victor
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                23 months ago

                Mites just appreciate when you make the bed for them.

                😄

                I’d personally be more inclined to get rid of the mites rather than make them slightly uncomfortable, but each to their own.

                Sure. However, I think it’s more about sustaining an environment where house dust mites (finally found the real term) don’t want to be. Otherwise they’ll show up/thrive. But in my mind, the best solution should be to change sheets with enough frequency, and make sure the house isn’t so dusty. That way they have no food and are swept away often enough by the washer/vacuum not to get a footing.

    • @limelight79@lemm.ee
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      63 months ago

      I make the bed, at least my side of it, every day. If I don’t, my wife, along with the cats and dog, won’t give me any covers when I get in.

      • Victor
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        -33 months ago

        I never understood sleeping in the same bed as a dog. Feels so filthy. Even a cat, bro. (Lived with cats for 22 years before moving from parent.)

        • @hardcoreufo@lemmy.world
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          23 months ago

          I just put out a dog blanket for the dog to lay on top of. That way my sheets stay undogged. As a bonus she knows if that blanket isn’t laid out she’s not welcome on the bed and if it is she can come up if she wants.

          • Victor
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            23 months ago

            That’s adorable. Now I understand better. I hope most people do what you do.